Loved this !!!
So there I was in the Forum Mall, making myself as the last link in the serpentine queue waiting for my portion of the McDonalds multinational Burger. Through the glass window I could see a few lucky ones gulping down yummy GolGoppas across the street, sans the queue and a hole in the pocket. But hey it’s not cool. And just as I would have wanted, there was this lady who took her position right behind me. She was in a very hip Max Mara cargos and a green and lime striped lycra enhanced tee and feeling like she wandered there straight from a fashion shoot. She should be at least 40 and the tonnes of antiwrinkling creams were working hard to conceal that truth. The problem was not her or her lycra… it was the brat who was accompanying her. I mean I have nothing against kids, as long as they are harmless that is. But this was spoilt, for it was poking me with a newly acquired toy from a cheap discount sale in Landmark (I was there and so I know).. It was a gun of sorts that make noise. I was getting irritated, but trying to be polite. The teens were all standing in a gangly group, gawking at the girls, preening a little down the line, and pretending to be studly, by flexing out chicken arms for the scrawny ones, and beefed up biceps for the gymaniacs. I was trying so hard to suck up by 4 extra inches around my waist and here was this brat, throwing me off air !!
Its times like these that I want the mothers to take control. The job doesn’t get over by reproducing does it ? Instead she was busy on her phone talking to some equally retarded lady (whose husband is probably making tonnes of money ) on her pet and some freaking fuckation that she enjoyed in Belgium last summer. I looked at the brat and smiled and then at the lady, expecting she would take control. She thought I was drooling at her mass. Minutes crawled and I was moving from the end of the queue to the gut. The boy has poked me for the umpteenth time now. I wanted to teach the lady a lesson, but how can I do that ever so politely ??? She realized that I was getting irritated and she said “sorry”… Yes.. this was the moment I was waiting for…the flash of the infamous hair dye ad in my grey cells.. The Satan in me smiling.. she was at my mercy… I cleared my throat and it shouldn’t have been difficult for at least 20 people to hear what I said “THAT’S OK AUNTYJI !!!” and then I watched her face.. (She probably screamed “Bastard.. but WTF, I made my point) I looked at her reaction on the mirror (She probably was thinking she could do a remix of Draupadhi while she was getting stripped by Dushaasan. She probably was praying that the earth would open up and swallow her whole, only burping to spit out some indigestible fat deposits. Aunty.) Lol. I heard at least 5 people giggling and the brat was crying as if there was no tomorrow. She probably slapped him. No McDonalds for him today.. LOL.. The Satanic me…
So there I was in the Forum Mall, making myself as the last link in the serpentine queue waiting for my portion of the McDonalds multinational Burger. Through the glass window I could see a few lucky ones gulping down yummy GolGoppas across the street, sans the queue and a hole in the pocket. But hey it’s not cool. And just as I would have wanted, there was this lady who took her position right behind me. She was in a very hip Max Mara cargos and a green and lime striped lycra enhanced tee and feeling like she wandered there straight from a fashion shoot. She should be at least 40 and the tonnes of antiwrinkling creams were working hard to conceal that truth. The problem was not her or her lycra… it was the brat who was accompanying her. I mean I have nothing against kids, as long as they are harmless that is. But this was spoilt, for it was poking me with a newly acquired toy from a cheap discount sale in Landmark (I was there and so I know).. It was a gun of sorts that make noise. I was getting irritated, but trying to be polite. The teens were all standing in a gangly group, gawking at the girls, preening a little down the line, and pretending to be studly, by flexing out chicken arms for the scrawny ones, and beefed up biceps for the gymaniacs. I was trying so hard to suck up by 4 extra inches around my waist and here was this brat, throwing me off air !!
Its times like these that I want the mothers to take control. The job doesn’t get over by reproducing does it ? Instead she was busy on her phone talking to some equally retarded lady (whose husband is probably making tonnes of money ) on her pet and some freaking fuckation that she enjoyed in Belgium last summer. I looked at the brat and smiled and then at the lady, expecting she would take control. She thought I was drooling at her mass. Minutes crawled and I was moving from the end of the queue to the gut. The boy has poked me for the umpteenth time now. I wanted to teach the lady a lesson, but how can I do that ever so politely ??? She realized that I was getting irritated and she said “sorry”… Yes.. this was the moment I was waiting for…the flash of the infamous hair dye ad in my grey cells.. The Satan in me smiling.. she was at my mercy… I cleared my throat and it shouldn’t have been difficult for at least 20 people to hear what I said “THAT’S OK AUNTYJI !!!” and then I watched her face.. (She probably screamed “Bastard.. but WTF, I made my point) I looked at her reaction on the mirror (She probably was thinking she could do a remix of Draupadhi while she was getting stripped by Dushaasan. She probably was praying that the earth would open up and swallow her whole, only burping to spit out some indigestible fat deposits. Aunty.) Lol. I heard at least 5 people giggling and the brat was crying as if there was no tomorrow. She probably slapped him. No McDonalds for him today.. LOL.. The Satanic me…
6 comments:
Lol... that was a tongue-in-cheek reaction. Fits those oh-I-am-too-hot-for-the-crowd kinda aunties well.
Nice writeup ..keep it up
Auntyji..lol... i can imagine how shw must hv felt....... gosh i would luv to see that. and i wud luv to see that satanic side of u as well.
Hehehehe.. I almost fell from my chair,I'd have surely laughed out loud, had i been there! :O)
Neel
Frankly! I'm offended!!
Did you even think for a moment about her husband?
She's gonna take all that out on him. The poor soul aint gonna get any action tonight! lol. So much for cheesed of, lycra clad, senile decayed aunti-jis.. :)
Man, the things I would've given up to have been there at the moment of truth! lol.
Of late, Bangalore seems to be infested with the "young at heart" types. The garish make-up, belly button level boobs and crack revealing pants on somepne who's pushing 50! I mean, whats this? Whatever happened to Ageing Gracefully huh??
Nice read man!
Ha Ha .... you Devil !!!! I can read couple of husbands already feeling the pinch above !!!!! However ... dude..... you ROCK !!!! I loved the comment .....
What man.. no Blogging these days?
Blogger's block???
Hope to see you back in action..
Awaiting your next post.
Post a Comment