Do you have anybody TOXIC around you ???

Yup. Those kinds. Those kinds emitting fumes of negativity that perfume the room before they can even make an entrance? The ones that would need a crane to lift the corners of their mouths into a smile? The ones, that if the Gods ever smiled at them, and managed to land them the megaprize in the megalithic lottery, would still manage to chew up your eardrums about what a drag it is to actually go so far to collect the damn cheque and why cant it be sent across by liveried handdelivery, and did you see how rude that liftman was, he didnt even move a centimetre to allow for fat to float freely in said lift? The ones who spend an hour on elaborate rituals and praying and the moment they finish find something or someone to criticise. Think hard. Anybody? Anybody you feel like ducking behind walls and potted plants when they approach? Anybody who is guaranteed to brighten up your morning when they dont make their presence felt?

I’m really lucky. I get my daily dose at the crack of dawn. The day begins with a long whine about how it was impossible to sleep due to assorted causes comprising cars on the road which should know better than to honk in the vicinity of such an important personage, the muezzin from the mosque upfront who dares to break shut eye at 5 am with his call, and the fan that makes a sort of irritating noise. Having got that politely out of the way, without needing to be asked how the sleep went, the discussion will veer, steered magnificently by the strong arm of self obsession about how the joint pains are acting up, how the maids are harassing one by not doing all they have to, how the neighbours are rude and boorish and fightercocks and have no respect.

I flee to the bathroom ostensibly to have a bath, and wonder if there is some way one can instal permanent auto reply with pleasant smile on my face. Thankfully, the bath saves me, and I rush out. The moment I return from work I will be greeted by the glummest face that only a lack of efficient bowel movements can produce. The maids, it seems, have acted up again. The joints are acting up again. The grandchild is acting up again. The neighbour, a perfectly pleasant and chatty lady whenever I bump into her, has stood at her doorstep and yelled vile and unmentionable things. I escape into the bedroom and switch the laptop on. I am followed into the bedroom where I attempt a meek escape for a more detailed explanation on why it is essential to Keep A Distance from such uncouth neighbours. Any wonder why we had uncouth and unsociable neighbours in the previous building. People who were Not Worth Talking Too. And when I nod and smile in mock assent, all the while wondering if I can actually find something to plug my ears up, the topic veers to family friends who have now all become uncouth and donot call or visit, and how they would all be around every single Sunday, and no one ever bothers to even call now, and how if they ever call, One Should Be Very Cold and Distant.

Any recommendations for some good ear plugs would be welcome, along with techniques on how to remove the toxicity that is being dumped into my system every single day. Yes, have tried aromatherapy and meditation, but the toxic overload is becoming a trifle too much. Or shall I just spit on my lady house owners face, the TOXIC bitch ?? Do you think I can get another 1BHK ???